Day I: Not As Bad As I Thought

Okay, yesterday wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.  Don't get me wrong.  I was tempted on day 1...big time.  But my meal and snack planning paid off.  Thank God, I had a substantial breakfast because the first thing that hit me was the smell of donuts, as soon as I walked into work.  :-(  And just as I was about to leave work, I was informed that it was a co-worker's birthday.  So, that meant I had to stand next to a cake with buttercream frosting and sing happy birthday.  To make matters worse, the receptionist asked me if I could bring her a piece because she couldn't leave the switchboard.  :-(  Somehow, I survived without eating so much as a crumb of cake.

The hardest thing about the day was how exhausted I was.  I went to bed after 2am and needed to get up around 7:30am.  Big mistake.  I felt like I could fall out by 2 in the afternoon.  I won't be doing that again.   I was so tired, that I almost talked myself out of working out...at least 5 times.  Hee hee.  I didn't do as much as I wanted, but I did get in 30 mins on the elliptical on random @ level 9, a 5 min cool down as well as some stretching.

I was terrified to get on the scale.   But I got it over with as soon as I put my things in my gym locker.  I was expected to be at least 250 lbs because it's been months since I weighed myself and I've been eating crazy...CRAZY, dude.  While I am horrified that I weigh a whopping 237.5 lbs, I am happy that it's somehow less that the 243 I saw the last time I stepped on the scale.  I do work mostly on my feet, so maybe that helped a bit.

So, here's what I ate on day 1:

Breakfast: plain, instant oatmeal (1 pack) w/Splenda
6 oz  Danon Light N Fit yogurt (pineapple coconut)
2 boiled eggs
(I actually only ate the oatmeal and yogurt at home b/c I was running late.  I took the boiled eggs and had them at work when I had time, which made them kind of a late morning snack.)

Lunch:  Sandwich w/chunk white tuna w/diced apples, red onion, reduced fat pepperjack cheese and mustard on whole grain bread
1 oz Ruffles Light
1 bartlett pear
can of diet pepsi

Late afternoon snack:  nonfat greek yogurt (gross, next time I'll just have half a container of the regular version)

Dinner:
Baked boneless, skinless chicken breast w/half tablespoon of barbecue sauce
1 cup steamed Asian vegetable medley
1 cup broccoli rice au gratin

I managed to get in 9 8oz servings of water, but forgot my multivitamin. Since I'm off today, I'll re-up on the vitamins.

My eating wasn't perfect, but I'm definitely on the road to weight loss.  My initial goal is 180, which means I have a whopping 57.5 lbs to go to get there.

Today is my day off, so I can lounge around a bit.  I've got to do full-body weight training and cardio today.  It's gonna suck, but the weights are a must.  I plan to do weights twice this week, but I'd like to eventually be doing weights three times a week.

I'm getting hungry, so I guess I better get some breakfast in me before I do something stupid.  :-)

Jesus, keep me near the cross and away from the cupcakes.

I've had it.  Being fat sucks.  I am a size 20 and every time I try on clothes, I wanna scream.  I wanna scream at the top of my lungs.  I wanna scream at myself for all the weeks and months of not working out...for all the fatty food I've polluted my body with...and for the fact that I know how to get and stay in shape, but just don't do anything about it.  So, don't worry.  This isn't a "Woe is me!  I'm the sad, fat girl." blog.  I know what I need to do.  And I've finally decided to do it.

I went grocery shopping tonight after work.  I got boneless, skinless chicken breasts, veggies, salad ingredients, healthy snacks and the works.  After I put the groceries away, I actually made my lunch for tomorrow.  I have planned out my breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks for tomorrow.  That means I'll actually have to get my plump rump out of bed early enough to eat my oatmeal, boiled eggs and fruit.  Since it's now 1:35am, that's going to be quite the chore for me.  Did I mention that I'm not a morning person?

At work tomorrow, I'm going to have to walk past the baskets of cake, cookies et al and stick with my yogurt, carrot sticks, etc. Would it be wrong to accidentally (on purpose) knock those fat-filled baskets off the tables on which they sit and stomp those evil treats into bits?  Dammit!  Don't people realize that having that stuff around someone like me is like sending a drug addict into a crackhouse to shoot the breeze?

And after I make it through that circle of hell, I have to go do one of my least favorite things...work out.  I'm not talking about a casual spin on the elliptical, where I'm reading a book and I never actually sweat.  No, I need to do full body circuit training in the weight room and THEN do some high intensity cardio.  I need to spend about and hour and a half in the gym tomorrow.  I won't push it, though.  It's been a while.  So, if I'm completely wiped out after weight training, I'll hold off on the cardio until Wednesday and just do an hour.

I totally don't expect anyone to read this.  I figure this will be good therapy for me.  I need a place to rant and rave.  Better this than emotional eating, right?  That's one of the many things that got me to where I am today.  I fully intended to post my height and weight, but my digital scale needs new batteries.  I obviously haven't used my scale in a while.  Surprise, surprise!  Lmao!